…After I had problems publishing my post on the editing process yesterday, I decided to edit my edit! I thought publishing 2,000 words on my journal was too self indulgent, so I have cut the original down quite a bit. Hopefully, what I have left will be interesting to someone.
NB: »PP means create a Plinky Prompt; »T means a tarot entry that at some point I will post on my Hallowquest blog; »D means a dream analysis that I plan to post on
I write, post-Boom Festival, about “Big Mistakes of my Life, aka Turning Points”. Then I turn them around so that they do not seem like mistakes after all. (This seems like a Hallowquest exercise, although I didn´t identify it.).
Detailed “Full Moon” dream analysis, called “The Templars”. »D
I list my hopes for the forthcoming year, according to the 4 tarot suits.»»T
I attempt a family tree to honour the ancestors. I think that may have been because 2yrs on from Mum´s death, I was aware that there was no record on her side of the family.
I asked “What would it mean to have Freya as a Patron?”. In the centre of the page, in letters 3cm high, I wrote Freya´s name in an original, stylised font. This meant that I realised that working with the Freya archetype was likely to stimulate my creativity.
Mind-map following a magickal afternoon session in the neighbouring olive grove. I created a Rainbow Serpent wand, that I ended up giving away.
I reflect back to the work in the olive grove – seeing connections and researching information to link this to. I also mention my best friends´ news of a new Mr Right and send her positive vibes for everything to work out as she dreams.
Did a biorhythm reading, showing the intellectual cycle at peak high and the emotional and physical cycles at peak low. I hadn´t liked drawing the Cosmic Tribe 2 of Cups, which I had called “sickly“. I talked myself into relaxing and noted a woman I called The Watcher, in the distance. I observed my Inner Critic at work on my observations and on a drawing I had done of an olive tree. I was hearing a hymn in my head that I associate with my best friend and I made a link to it with the tarot Emperor (King Arthur).
I write a commentary on the G20 summit and observe that in Portugal they put gelatine in cream, that makes it unsuitable for vegetarians. I notice my “growing political awareness”. I refer back to the 4 elements, magickal work that I had done at the Boom Festival the previous August. I had built a mini labyrinth outside my tent, for meditation, yet I wrote nothing about that Boom experience at the time.
A mind-map of recent creativity, Kali yantra, Hawthorne wand, orange fetish for prosperity and green man.
Tarot reading following a visit from friends. Well sketched cards but no analysis!
Child-like mind-map around a large sun, reminding me to “Breathe out/in” when stoned. Also observed “Clinging to the Past = 5 of Cups”.
Followed by a messy, but useful, creative interpretation of the Osho 5 of Cups. »T Drew a common symbol in my journals; a key, this one elaborate and golden.
Mind-map in pencil, with the central figure, bent, back against a hill. A large boulder, marked “Resisting Change” is rolling against the figure, who is about to be flattened.
I note that I “properly tend my altar for the first time”.
Working with “Undoing Yourself” by Christopher Hyatt and the theme of ego death. Sketch of a stylised skull, with amanita mushroom at the third eye.
Five pages of work, where I set myself an “EXAM in SELF-HEALING”. Trying to integrate recent learning. Comment about my son using “manipulation to get me to face up to my high blood pressure”. I had started medication at about this time.
Still in the same creative flow and learning to manage the energy. Questioning whether I could really handle psychedelics and ego death. My mind tries to assert itself over the creative loss-of-control. I observe this as conflict. I note the “need to break through the physical barrier”. I had similar thoughts at the start of summer this year.
Common theme of Facing Fears, expressed in rabbit doodle.
Influenced by
Shamanic Freedom Radio, episode 23 where Opaquelens says “They spank the bottoms of the complacent”. I don´t know what this referred to but it amuses me.
Paranoid stone – fear of extinction. Suggests ego was losing control. Once again a rabbit doodle. Good advice to “Count to 11 from now on ! for the sake of your heart and BP”. Funny spoonerism “extracted by externals” instead of distracted. Definitely feeling “in the magickal”. Talk of Hecate.
Labyrinth drawing, with text following the path inward. More evidence that my mind was afraid that I was close to death of ego “BEGGING begging not to be forgotten” and “WE ARE AFRAID TO BECOME (1)”.
More about “HEC8” and Kali; more on ego death “CUTTING CONNECTION TO EARTH” and more on magick, “For once you write SO MOTE IT BE, SO IT IS”. Also, my writing indicates an awareness of ego being separate from my soul, as in, “Writing spells, did we? Careless, we is too”.
Wrote with left hand, “ther is no lif after death!”.
Journal ends with mention of Hecate again and the crone phase, Persephone, “reality check; NOW, present, un-selfish”.
